Steel-Pan-Phobia on St. Tosia

SINT MAARTEN/COMMENTARY (By Cdr. Bud Slabbaert) - Once a year steel pan pannists from all over the Caribbean gather for the ‘St.Tosia Steel-Pan-Phobia’ in Puerto Olvidar. The festival’s casual atmosphere appeals to music lovers from all over who like to sway on soothing sounds of the steel drum music. What started several years ago with a spontaneous steel pan shootout has grown into a major music festival event that is well known in the Caribbean and beyond. It celebrates the region’s best musical performers in steel drum music.

In the meantime, artists from different genres like zouk, reggae, calypso and soca have joined the annual concerts. For instance, the well-known Jambo Jacco and the Reggae Rousers and Soca Sam and the Sucka Punchers are regulars at the festival. The private mega yachts of some celebrities and producers in the music industry are moored in the docks of Puerto Olvidar’s Imperial Yacht Club during the festival week. The islanders and all visitors to the island are intrigued by the unique sounds and styles of tropical flavored music that you can feel in the pit of your stomach.

St. Tosia’s own Ronnie Labobo’s Steel Drum Band is widely acclaimed as the most exciting steel drum band on this side of the Lesser Antilles. Ronnie himself plays the double tenor steelpan. Many pannists have similar styles, but when it comes to runs and syncopation Ronnie is boss.

“Dis guy kook's da pan, man; I loven' dis guy! Ain’t no music sweetah dan from Labobo’s steel pan!” according to Old Man Bubba Bum Bum Bokuffo, the authority on steel drum music, and considered to be the ‘Panning Pope of the Caribbean’. Bubba Bum Bum is one of the three judges of the ‘St.Tosian Steel-Pan-Phobia’.

Winston Loveface another judge disagrees: ”Lehme tell yo sumthing, me like de bomboclaat riddims of Kaka better,” referring to Kaka Roach and the Kritters. Kaka is one of the Grand Masters of the Beating Pan and famous for his special technique using six mallets. He is often called the ‘six stick acrobat’; it gives the shivers watching him. He is one of the rare performers who simultaneously sings and accompanies himself on steel drums. Especially his arrangement of the song "Take Yah Hands Off Mah Eggs" played on Easter weekends is beloved throughout the Caribbean.

Yet, Floyd “Lord” Spencer, the third member of the Jury sees things from a different perspective. He is the only one of the three judges who speaks the Queen’s English without accent, that is…, to some degree. He actually had some formal music education in a summer course at a conservatorium in England and the rumor goes that he can play Rachmininoff’s 3^rd Piano Concerto in Db Minor on a double tenor steelpan set without making one mistake. “I can still recall the 80's when the arrangements were much faster, sweeter, and the pans sounded like glittering swords laying waste to anyone who dared challenge,” he says. “Today they're like Trinidad pan beaters trying to play Florida style football.”

St.Tosia’s marketing guru Nandan Mahasundaram has recently submitted a proposal to the Minister of the Arts and Multiculturalism, the honorable Rosetta Lovelin-Roche, to establish, a “Steel Band Hall of Fame” on the island. “It is such a blessing to experience this event and witness the greats of our art form of performing liquid metal melodies. We should have a special panyard to honor those who bring the soul harmonically spectra of our Steel Drum Bands to the peak of international fame,” Nandan suggested and continued, “Not only do they play well, they give us a damn good time as well, while enjoying the exotic melody arrangements.”

This year’s surprise of the music festival was a new song called “The Cannabis Calypso” sung by the Barefoot Friars, who traditionally come down from their Catharsis monastery on Kalinago Hill after the Sunday morning service to make a guest appearance during the Yea Yea Jam Session. The song is written by Friar Sunshine, who is in charge of cultivation of herbs and spices in the cloister gardens. It is sung Acapella on the melody of ‘Oh Christmas Tree’. It turned out to be an absolute showstopper. The whole crowd looked like wafting on the Trade Winds as they kept repeating the refrain: “Oh Canna-bis, oh Canna-bis, of all the weeds most lovely”

The Minister of Trade and Industry, the honorable Eleazar Garcia Chuchena, nicknamed ‘The Baron’, was so excited when he heard the song that he spontaneously suggested to adopt the song as the National Anthem of St.Tosia. But when they made him realize that it was sung on the melody of a Christmas song, he withdrew his motion with grinding teeth. He commented that it was a missed opportunity. Yet, as an appreciation for the Briar Foot Friar’s good work in the name the Lord, he made a generous donation to the Abbey of the Carthesians on the Kalinago Hill.

The Minister is a strong supporter of the ‘St.Tosia Steel-Pan-Phobia’. Last year, he was able to convince his colleagues in the Council of Ministers to soften the enforcement of the island’s anti-drug laws for the duration of the ‘Pan-Phobia‘. It gives the event the reputation of a ‘soft-drug festival’. Others consider it a three-day free-trade-zone.

About the author.

The almost true stories and almost believable stories of St.Tosia are written by Cdr. Bud Slabbaert who claims that it is what he has experienced while residing on St.Tosia and monitoring what else is going on in the Caribbean.